Wonderful Memories, Mixed Emotions

I can't stop thinking about my baby boy. I just can't get his precious face and innocent voice out of my head. That shirt he's wearing...probably his only one. It's filthy...can you tell?

I wish I could give him better. Not pay someone to do it for me. ME! Me...going to him and bringing him back and giving him everything I have. I think Hunter is thankful we don't have the money to go to back right now, because he knows I would come home a mother.

As for now, praying for him is all I can do. Lord, be real to this baby boy. He needs you.

For anyone whose like...who is the kid and why are you so emotional?..He is my Enule (Eh-nool-eh) and I met him two years ago. He was in my group of boys... when I went to Zambia for a month to hang out with AIDS orphans... and to show them they are worth time, love, care, tears, hugs...eternal life. It pains me to even think of what he has to live with every day. He was one of the VERY rare children who has both parents. Thank you, Lord.

There are so many awful things that happen over there...UNHEARD of things that would shock the crap out of you... And when I think about him...I always cry. ALWAYS. Not always in sadness, sometimes just because I am so happy I got to hug him and spend time with him. I just miss it.

OK more positive happy things...I'll tell you the story of this picture.

So, this was the day that all the kids (3-18 yrs of age) at the camp were getting a NEW shirt, a NEW bandana, and a NEW pair of shoes! You have no idea how huge this is. I mean these kids are ECSTATIC. It's like if American kids all got a 4 puppies, an ipod/iphone/ixboxplaystationnintendogameboy, and a years supply of icecream!

It's that big.

Enule...and all my boys for that matter..were so genuinely excited. I mean ...there were the occasional groups that would have some kids that would say they didn't like their new shoes and wanted another pair...but hey newsflash (there is sin in the world)..

My boys were about to pee there pants waiting their turn. When they came into the big meeting room...Enule ran straight up to me and hugged me so hard and just had these huge wide eyes like..."Really?" "You promise?" "Shoes! and a shirt!" "Please be serious!" He didn't stop smiling the whole day. He was so proud.

You know when you wear an oufit...a new outfit...that you just love. You feel so comfortable in ..and you just know that its awesome...you are just so excited about the day because of your new outfit...you want to go everywhere and just strut your awesome outfit..that was him.

I miss him.